What to do with 6 yards of vinyl backed 60s fabulosity?
KEEP AN EYE ON THE MONKEY.—The latest plan for the robbery of private dwellings is reported by the Newark Mercury of yesterday. As the individual may visit this City we deem it proper to give the particulars. The Mercury says there is a suspicious looking individual, a “furriner,” going around town carrying a string, to the end of which is attached a dirty, thieving little monkey. Wherever this individual spies a bedroom or parlor window open, he stops and listens, and if he is satisfied that there is no one present in the room, he sends Mr. Monkey creeping slyly up the front of the house into the open window. Now the man-monkey on the sidewalk, having hold of the other end of the string is strongly suspected of having communicated his own thievish propensities to the little monkey, and has “educated” him to fasten on little valuables, such as bracelets, breastpins, finger rings or loose change, which his monkeyship may find lying on the toilet or centre-tables.
MONKEY ON A SPREE STIRS UP EAST SIDE; Jocko Breaks Crockery, Bites Two People, and Makes Finechal Say “Pshakraf.”; FINE NIGHT CHASE FOR HIM; And the Dotzler Association Settles the Bill After He is Made a Prisoner Under Coal Scuttle. (New York Times, September 15, 1907)
Jocko, the monkey mascot of the Frank Dotzler Association of the Union Market Section of the east side, went on a spree Friday night, and, forsaking his perch on the gas jet in the saloon of Frank Conlin at 436 East Houston Street, started out to see how much confusion he could make.
When the monkey sobered up he found himself a prisoner under the coal scuttle in the flat of Abraham Finechal, at 5 Manhattan Street, where he remained until Conlin and his friends agreed to pay for the damage the monkey had done while “in a state of absolute intoxication” as Conlin put it last night.
Everybody in the Union Market section knows Jocko, and everybody knows that Jocko is a drunkard, but nobody ever thought that he would bite a hole in Mister Finechal’s back, tickle the foot of a young woman, and break up many dollars worth of crockery and bric-a-brac, as he did in the early hours yesterday morning. The Frank Dotzler Association had its annual outing at College Point on Friday, and of course Jocko went along. That was the beginning of the trouble. Last night Mr. Dotzler, who is the Alderman for that ward, told what Jocko did on that occasion.
“To begin with,” said Mr. Dotzler, “please remember that this monkey is the smartest specimen of the monkey family in captivity. He can play ball, cook eggs, play the banjo, and dance the two-step. He can also — shame on him — drink enough booze to throw a big man, much less a little monkey. Well, to make a long story short, Jocko got drunk at the outing, and when he got home he was hilarious, and no mistake, the hilarity I speak of was responsible for what transpired last night, and what that was those most concerned can best tell you.”
From Busby Berkeley’s “Gold Diggers of ‘33” - Zip over to 1:42 to watch Ginger Rogers sing “We’re in the Money” in Pig Latin, mostly because life is to short not to.
